Friday, November 03, 2006

Put out to pastor.

Let's see what Lisa has to say about today's suddenly very newsworthy Pastor Ted Haggard:

Pastor Ted Haggard – I had never heard him preach before but he was outstanding and very encouraging. My favorite part was at the end of the service. We were instructed to physically unwrap imaginary graveclothes from our head, hands and feet as Lazarus would have had to do when he was raised from the dead. I don’t know how to describe it but after we each did this, the life in that room was electric!
Well, he did have lots of practice physically unwrapping clothes from other peoples' heads, if you know what we mean, so we're not surprised at his bravado. As for the electric feeling, wethinks those Eucharists might have a been a little, well, methy. Hey, at least he shared—he had to in some tiny way practice what he so grandly preached.

Seriously, Lisa, for calling this hypocritical douchebag "outstanding" and "encouraging," we expect a very apologetic Coffee Talk next time. And if not for us, do it for god. Just don't send him a hard copy of the mea culpa—clearly, after what you all put him through today, he's not interested.

We don't blame him.

See you Monday!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You blog makes me laugh until tears stream down my face. It amazes me that this borderline retarded woman, who can't grasp even the most rudimentary grammar skills, homeschools her children. You've got to see her post this week, I can't wait to read your comments on it.

Love your blog!


November 05, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh boy ... but I have to say, what do you expect from someone who thinks Chuck Colson is a real swell guy?

Heads up ... she posted another entry on 4 November. Well, actually it was some story written by Clancy. I take it we wont' be seeing another column from her this week because once again, she' just too darn busy!

November 05, 2006  
Blogger Eden said...

"My favorite part was at the end of the service."

Mine too!

November 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog is hysterical! Love it! BTW, I did read up on Lisa's entry about being depressed and shit and pondered that the "vitamins" are probably code for Paxil. Why didn't she just pray her way out of it? Shit, that's all she usually does anyways!

December 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a member of the human race, I just have to say what a pitiful excuse for a human being you are! Is this really the best thing you have to do with your time? Write a blog on someone who has some of the most pure goals one could ever even hope for?! She is actually at least doing something with her life that is going to better herself, and not to mention, many others. She is a great mom-look at her kids. Aside from what you think are bushy eyebrows and bad dressed children, they are happy, and have been raised in an environment that has accomodated them in every way that they have needed. They actually experience love and a stable home. So, instead of reflecting on her every thought and move, try looking at your own life first and seeing where you might actually be making mistakes-unless you think you're your own god and you don't dare do things like that!

December 12, 2006  
Anonymous Eleanor Rigby said...

... hi Lisa, how's things?

January 08, 2007  

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